Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Where Art Thou, Cheerios?

They sit atop my grocery list
Have you seen this box?
Like something that I must have missed
For months in Doha I cannot find
This staple of the breakfast kind
Someone out there surely knows:
Where are all the Cheerios?

They used to grace the grocer's shelves
But now, it seems, that they, themselves,
Have vanished, vamoosed, disappeared
This cereal, once so endeared
Into our milk-filled bowls fall tear-ios
Where the heck are all the Cheerios?

I snapped and bought the Honey version
A box of fructose—sweet perversion
To say those O's were not the same
Gives understatement a new name
The kids, they found them quite a treat
But Dan, he called them much too sweet
To pass across his breakfast table
"Tell me, dear, are you not able
To fulfill your wifely duty
And provide (besides your beauty)
Love and comfort—all those things
And especially, those oatie rings?"

I sit him down; this needs explaining
It's not just him I've heard complaining
A mother, a baby, a family
My own dear sons, my young friend E
We've gone across this dusty city
(Trust me, hun, it wasn't pretty)
In search of something held so dear-io
A solitary, crispy, Cheerio

But that's not all, across this nation,
That causes pangs of deprivation
Arborio I oft bemoan
Pepper salsa (Newman's Own)
Ketjap Manis - Indo saucy
(Don't ask me—it's loved by Aussies)
Graham crackers, sour cream
Wake me from this hungry dream!
And also in my manifesto:
Jamie Oliver's basil pesto

So if, dear reader, you spot some Cheerios
And change them back from Disappearios
Post it here, but please don't hoard!
Sharing is its own reward
And be prepared:  there is no telling
Which favourite item they'll stop selling

3 comments:

  1. I have just stumbled upon two actual boxes of the cherished 'O's'... @ Spinneys, The Pearl... forgive me for not telling you sooner - I was beside myself with triumph & excitement, and forgot to call.
    I have let E have some of the Honey Nut version lately, and I am fearful she is now addicted.
    While you're looking for your various items, tell me if you find French's Mustard and rhubarb! Will keep eyes peeled for Jamie Oliver! XOX

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  2. Cheerios I do not like
    So have not espied them on my hike
    Through Doha's many grocery stores
    Those little oaties I find bores

    I have, however, good news for thee
    Many of your desires I didst see
    Graham crackers and Jamie's pesto
    Long in hiding on your questo
    No longer do you need to bega
    For they'll be found at the Mart of Mega

    That caprious rice, Arborio
    Without which risotto can't pass "go"
    Is often found at Mega Mart
    But if in hiding please take heart
    A trip to Italy must be taken
    What a women must do, alas, when forsaken!

    As for Newman - those eyes those eyes
    Just one gaze elicits cries
    That piercing blue it makes me swoon and sway
    Oh, I digress and have lost my way!
    So back to Newman's salsa piquante
    I'd travel to hell with Mr. Dante
    I'd go that far to taste that elixir
    But, alas, sometimes it here
    And sometimes it's nixer

    So Desert Mama
    Be brave be bold
    Scour shops of the land
    And you may behold
    All those comforts that you hold dear
    Strike out,set sail, and they may appear

    And when you've searched
    to no avail
    And deep despair has made you wail
    The tears and screams create a storma
    Take heart, take heart, go buy a shwarma!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Somebody call the cops, LAPD...this is so enjoyable, it's criminal! A+!

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