Tuesday, January 29, 2013

To Qtel, With Love...


                                                                                                                Photo details

September 16, 2012

Dear Qtel,

It was so great to see you today!  And what a relief to finally have this appointment...it’s been a month since I made it.  I know you were three hours late, but it’s going to be totally worth it.  So happy that you came to install the big black box for our fibre optic for our high-speed internet.  I hear we can get up to 50 Mb/sec!  I’ll bet it’ll just be a matter of days until someone comes back to activate it.  One of your guys mentioned as he was leaving that another person would be coming back in 15 minutes to do his part of the job?  Hmmm.  He actually never came.  Oh well, no biggie.  I’m sure he’ll come when he has time.

Warmest regards,
Desert Mama

* * *

September 17, 2012

Dear Qtel,

Wow!  Two visits from you in as many days!  I totally don’t mind that you came a day late, but I was a bit surprised to see you!  I’m just glad I happened to be here when you arrived.  I’m not exactly sure what you were doing in the little room with the black box?  It's all over my head—you're the expert! Can’t wait to have our fibre optic up and running!

Regards,
Desert Mama

* * *

September 18, 2012

Hi again, Qtel,

Gosh, I hadn't realized what a big job this fibre optic activation is!  And it seems like there are so many highly-trained individuals working at your company—I haven’t seen the same person twice!  So nice of you to come back again today and do whatever it was you did to the big black box.  I’m so happy you told me that all we (well, my husband, actually) have to do now is call your office to arrange for another Qtel technician to come to our house to activate it.  Which I kind of thought was the point of all the other technicians.  Oh well.  We'll make that appointment ASAP!

Best,
Desert Mama

* * *

September  20, 2012

Hey there,

Just wanted to let you know that my husband made an appointment for next week.  One step closer to having high-speed internet...Yippee!

Cheerio,
Desert Mama

* * *

September 26, 2012

Hi Qtel,

I had no idea you had your very own comedy troupe that you sent out on the road!  What a treat, and so hysterical!  When your “technician” arrived on the compound, he phoned me, and told me that he was here for my “appointment”, and that he was the Copper Wire Technician, not the Fibre Optic Technician.  So funny to make it seem like you sent the wrong guy!  The best part was the dead-pan way he kept delivering the line: “There is NO fibre optic wire on your compound yet, Madam, only copper wire.”  I don’t know how he kept a straight face—I would have busted a gut laughing trying to pull that one over on someone!

Thanks for the laugh,
Desert Mama

* * *

September 27, 2012

Hi again,

Just wanted to let you know that I made another call to your office today to get my fibre optic activated.  Boy, you guys must be BUSY!  The operator told me that it could take up to two months for an appointment!  But, I’m not worried.  She said you’d call me to let me know when you were coming.  Looking forward to hearing from you!

Bye for now,
Desert Mama

* * *

October 19, 2012

Hi Qtel!

It’s been such a long time!  I can’t tell you how excited I was to get your call today.  Looks like I’ll see you tomorrow at 4:00!

See ya,
Desert Mama

* * *

October 20, 2012

Dear Qtel,

I hate you.  Drop dead.

Desert Mama

* * *

October 21, 2012

Hey.

OK, I'm sorry.  I know I overreacted.  It's just that I've invested so much time in our relationship, and I was so disappointed that you didn't come over at all yesterday.  Couldn't you have called to say you weren't coming?  I wasn't even the one that initiated it this time!  And I had waited so patiently for a month for you, not pestering you by calling you myself.  Sigh.  I know you're probably angry and that's the reason you're not returning my calls.  Please say you'll come back?

Desert Mama

* * *

October 28, 2012

Hi,

Alright, I get it.  I guess it's over.  It's really too bad...I thought this was the beginning of something special.  Downloading movies from iTunes at high speed, using Skype without the picture freezing...I guess it just wasn't our time.  I'll never forget those countless hours of anticipation I spent waiting for you to arrive.  In the end, maybe that's all the excitement I could have hoped for.  Take good care of yourself.

With my unwavering affection,
Desert Mama

* * *

November 15, 2012

Hey Qtel, you rat bastard,

I just heard from a friend of a friend that someone on this compound had their fibre optic activated last week.  That's right.  ACTIVATED.  There may be a million and a half people living in this city, but I think you forgot what a small community this is.  News travels fast, you two-timing low-life.

Get bent.
Desert Mama

* * *

December 12, 2012

Qtel,

What makes you think you can just come waltzing back into my life and tell me you're going to pop in tomorrow afternoon?   I'm OVER you, get it?  Four o'clock?  Yeah, I've heard that one before.  I'm not holding my breath.

Desert Mama

* * *

December 13, 2012

See?  I knew it.  6:00 pm and you're still not here.  I'd better stop sending these emails since it's taking up too much bandwidth and interfering with downloading the movie we want to watch tonight.  Yeah, you read that right.  We're going to download a movie without your help.  Loser.

Desert Mama

* * *

December 14, 2012

Dear Qtel,

Thank you for your prompt and efficient service in getting our fibre optic internet installed and activated.  The coordination of your various departments to accomplish this task was exemplary, and your technicians and administrative staff are clearly top-notch.  That it only took three months, four appointments, and nine technicians to get the job done is nothing short of impressive.  You have set a new standard for monopoly internet service providers worldwide.

Yours truly,
Desert Mama



7 comments:

  1. I laughed at this because you are a great writer and managed to make the whole ordeal sound humorous... but sooo not funny, Qtel. Glad you finally got it sorted. Inshallah, it runs smoothly. Our compound has yet to get fiber optic service!

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  2. That totally reminds me of my encounters with Shaw. Thanks for the laugh

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  3. I almost peed my pants. Thanks for the laugh, Donna.

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  4. It's taken us 7 months to get connected. Qtel were so certain that there was no fibre on our compound, we were almost at the point of believing our neighbours either side had fabricated an entire story about their fibre set ups in some elaborate plot akin to the 'Truman Show'. After sending an innocent 30 character tweet about our experience, it was connected within 3 days!!! Never a dull moment in Qatar

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    1. Hilarious! That is, if it wasn't so frustrating it could make you weep. Maybe the elaborate plot is that Qtel only exists for us to provide amusing stories for our family and friends. Thanks for sharing! :)

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  5. Oh dear my husband was talking about getting better service than the free one provided in his building. I'm guessing the alternative he is talking about is Qtel!

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  6. LOL you are amazing. hi, I'm Jaya.

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